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Basic Guidelines
Consent to Virtual Erotic Events (for Red events)
Video Conferencing Instructions
Detailed Community Guidelines
Safety & Consent
Suggestions for Loving Relating
Inclusivity, Thinking Beyond the Box

Basic Guidelines

* This event is for adults only, thanks

* This is a substance free event, please attend sober.

* All interactions with others are by mutual consent, based on respect and clear communication

* No viewable on screen sexual activity in the zoom calls, keep it private. No genitals showing on screen, but upper bodies will be OK on the Red Erotic events.

* No violent or oppressive language or loud public arguments or disturbances of any kind tolerated

* All ethnicities, sexual identities and spiritual orientations are welcome and respected.

Virtual Event Guidelines


(Adapted from Bonobo Tribe)

Join the video conference from a private, uninterrupted space, since other participants are consenting to be seen by people at this event – no one else.

Confidentiality
We don’t mention anyone who was here or share their words or experiences
You’re welcome to talk about the event and share what you said or what the facilitator said

* No private recording or screen shots of any of the events, we will record them. This is important to protect each other’s privacy. We will not record any breakout room conversations.
If we find out someone has taken a screenshot or recording that would be grounds for suspension or removal from the festival.

*The Waiting Room is activated for every event and we only let people in who are in the group/RSVP’ed to attend.

*If I/we don’t recognize a name within the event, we ask the person to identify themselves.
Participation

*It is required that everyone have their video on, especially your face in view at the beginning of an event, so everyone is equally vulnerable and identifiable, before the recording starts. (This does not mean you have to be “on camera” or physically visible at all times.)

*If you’re in front of the camera you are consenting to be watched.
*If you want to protect your privacy even more, mute yourself and turn your picture away from yourself after the recording starts.

*You can also change your name after you log in, and tell us in advance so we know it is you (Use your Festival Name).

* Do not share the recordings publicly after the event. You may share them privately with one or two close friends. The recordings will be accessible for a month after the event.

*Our Zoom links are unique for every every event so people can’t pass on the same link from the previous event.

Respectful Communication:
Request that we share with “I” Statements – speak from your experience and reveal yourself
If it is appropriate in a smaller event, invite everyone in the space to introduce themselves and their pronouns (be aware of time, if you have many people maybe just inviting them to share 3 words of check-in )

Please don’t cross-talk or interrupt; listen fully during others’ sharing
Only unmute yourself when requested to by the Presenter.
Listen to understand

Risks:
Any event, whether in person or online, carries risk; emotional, physical, confidential. We attempt to minimize the risk, to be “safe enough”, so that we can find ways to participate. We attempt to have “risk aware” participation, balancing risk and our personal level of participation.
Zoom, like any technology is a potentially vulnerable platform and there are possibilities of exposure, but we are taking as many precautions as possible to make this a technologically safe and secure space to hold these events.

* Failure to comply with these guidelines could result in you being asked to leave without a refund.
(Adapted from Bonobo tribe agreements)

Foster Consent culture

We practice being responsible for requesting our own boundaries and asking for help in doing so. This includes physical, energetic (psychic space), verbal, and emotional boundaries and unintended projections on those around us.

We commit to being in the discomfort of learning our boundaries as we lean into new experiences.

Respect others’ edges and boundaries. Be excited about receiving a no.

We practice affirmative consent – a verbal yes means yes, silence is not necessarily a yes. We strive to cultivate more awareness of nonverbal cues and clarify those with verbal confirmations.

We strive to become aware of our own unspoken desires. What might we want that’s subconsciously driving our actions?

In our community, we sometimes choose to play in intimate space. There is no assumption you participate in anything you don’t want. And we are in the constant discovery of our boundaries as we lean into our edges and shadows.

We practice saying no, even after the fact.

We notice what power dynamics might be at play that could be affecting our ability to say no or others’ ability to exercise their power of consent.

If we feel safe and willing when our ‘no’ was not heard clearly, we communicate directly with the person we share conflict with. We remember that there are people in this community here to help and that we are not alone.

We talk with a member of the Organizer Team and/or the facilitator of the event about boundary and consent violations directly and as soon as possible.

Pronouns

In this community, we want to build a safe enough container to genuinely invite people of all expressions to consciously relate. We honor and welcome all gender identities and thus, pronouns. Pronouns are an individual’s expression of their own gender identification.
The most common one are she/her, he/him, they/them. They/them pronouns typically refer to someone’s identity as being non-binary or gender non-conforming, although it is different for each person. Other pronouns are entirely welcome.

As we strive to honor ourselves and one another, please be respectful and intentional when referring to other people. Remember to use their correct pronouns during our entire event (and beyond!). We also ask that you respect that people have triggers and potential wounds for not being acknowledged in how they want to be acknowledged. As such, please don’t joke as you introduce your pronouns. Not having to think about your gender pronouns is a privilege.

If you do not understand this gender and non-binary terminology, we invite you to be curious, engage in a welcoming conversation with those who feel resourced (like the facilitators), and don’t assume you know. You also are welcome to have your own discomforts if you don’t understand or agree. We welcome your discomfort and curiosity. We do not welcome creating an unsafe environment.

CONSENT TO VIRTUAL EROTIC EVENTS

We give thanks for permission from the Sex Positive Portland Community for permission to adapt their guidelines.
You will be asked to sign this when you register. It applies to our Red erotic level events.

This document outlines the agreement between you and Karuna Retreats. (hereinafter “KR”) to engage in virtual erotic events (hereinafter “VEE”), accessed remotely through electronic media (e.g., online video conferencing). Please read this agreement in full and communicate with us if you have any questions or concerns about participating in VEE. By signing this document, you will be acknowledging and agreeing to the following:

BENEFITS AND RISKS OF VEE

Receiving services via VEE allows you to:
• Participate in erotic events at times or in places where those may not otherwise be available.
• Participate in erotic events when you are unable to travel due to travel restrictions imposed or personally decided upon due to health risks (e.g., COVID-19).

Receiving services via VEE can be impacted by technical failures, may introduce risks to your privacy, and will reduce the host’s ability to directly intervene in case of emotional triggering. Here is a non-exhaustive list of possible risks:
• Internet connections and cloud services could cease working or become too unstable to use.
• Cloud-based service personnel, IT assistants, and malicious actors (“hackers”) may have the ability to access your VEE participation that is transmitted or stored in the process of VEE delivery.
• Computer or smartphone hardware can have sudden failures or run out of power, or local power services can go out.
• Interruptions may disrupt services at important moments.
• The event hosts and facilitators will be unable to help you in-person.
• There is no way to guarantee that you will know of all the participants in the VEE, as some known participants may have others viewing their screen who are off-screen to you.
• Hosts will do their best to ensure that no video recording or still pictures are taken of the VEE, but it is impossible to guarantee that, as there are 3rd party applications which purport to be able to capture video streams and anyone can take a picture or screenshot of the VEE. To help lower this risk, we are asking you not to show genitals on screen.

There may be additional benefits and risks to VEE that arise from the lack of in-person contact or presence, the distance between you and the host at the time of the event, and the technological tools used to deliver services.

ADDITIONAL CONSIDERATIONS

• You agree to use a video-conferencing platform the KR host has selected for VEE (Zoom.com or another similar platform).
• Barring breaches of security as noted above, no person, including yourself, will record, listen to, or watch the VEE without permission from all parties involved.
• Unless the KR host has agreed ahead of time, there should be no other person sitting in on your VEE who is not an appropriate member (underage, or not holding a ticket) who could hear or see the event, either in the room or remotely.
• You agree to use a secure internet connection (e.g., a home account with Comcast or other ISP) rather than public/free Wi-Fi, and that you otherwise actively participate in maintaining your own security and privacy.
• It is important to be on time. VEE will often have a “door closing” time, after which no one will be allowed to join.
• You must log in with your Online name so the host knows who is attending, and please keep your video on during the event, but you can turn it away from you in case you prefer to attend more privately.

THE LEGALESE

1) Waiver of Liability: I agree to release from liability and waive my right to sue any KR planners, facilitators, volunteers, the venue host, directors or members (collectively “Released Parties”) from any claim, loss, liability, damage or cost to persons or property arising from my attendance or participation in any KR VEE, whether caused by the negligence of the Released Parties or otherwise.
2) Assumption of Risk: I assume full responsibility for any risk of bodily injury, illness, psychological damage, inadvertent exposure of my participation by unpermitted parties, death or property damage to myself or others arising from my attendance or participation in any KR VEE, whether caused by the Released Parties or otherwise.
3) In the event that any of the Released Parties are found liable to me, the total liability of the Released Parties’ liability is limited to my VEE admission fee, if any.

CONSENT TO VEE SERVICES

You will be asked to sign this when you register. It only applies to Red events.

VIDEO-CONFERENCING INSTRUCTIONS

VIDEO-CONFERENCING INSTRUCTIONS

1) You can use your smart phone or a computer with or without a webcam, and ideally on a private direct internet connection.
2) At the scheduled time, click on the link provided on the event page, or start the application and enter the Meeting ID and password.
3) When prompted, enter your Online name and click Join Meeting.
4) Unmute your audio only when instructed and start your video to give access to your microphone and camera.
5) Depending on the event, this will put you into a virtual “waiting room” and the host can see that you are there.
6) Stay in the waiting room until the host admits you to the event.
7) If the event gets disrupted after it starts, please repeat these instructions.

Detailed Community Guidelines

We give thanks for permission from the Soulplay Festivals in California for use of this text! We are on the same page! These are the usual guidelines from our in person events, but many apply to online.

RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPERIENCE

A Tantra Festival is an opportunity to dive deep into our patterns and beliefs. For some people the festival will be a fun relaxing weekend. For others, it may be a triggering environment. Whatever you are feeling, please respect that not everyone feels the way you do. People may get triggered and you may witness them feeling sad, angry, upset or tender. Others may feel elated, blissful, happy or joyful. Other people’s feelings are NOT something you should judge nor solve.

USE OF ALCOHOL AND OTHER MIND ALTERING SUBSTANCES

Tantra Festival workshops are best experienced sober and present. Out of respect for other participants, please show up to workshops fully present. If a presenter feels that you are unable to partake in the workshop due to inebriation, they may ask you to leave the workshop. Illegal substances are, quite simply, illegal.

SEXUAL ACTIVITY

We celebrate sexuality and encourage you to be as sexual as you choose, as long as all activity is consensual and conducted in privacy. Sexual activity will NOT be permitted in any of the public areas.

NUDITY

Clothing, at least covering the genitals, is required in all other public areas including the workshops. Bare chests are fine in any area (or red online events). Always sit on a towel or piece of clothing you own when sitting on any furniture, pillows, pads, etc if you are nude.

CONFIDENTIALITY

We would like to create an environment at our festival where people feel safe to share and open up. Therefore, when outside of a workshop (and definitely when outside of the festival), please do NOT share other people’s stories or actions. Feel free to share your own personal experience, not anyone else’s.

CONSENT AND BOUNDARIES

Everyone is invited to explore Radical Connection at their own pace. Don’t assume that people are open to engage in any activity (hugging, doing a workshop exercise), just because you are. Also remember, external behaviors may not always indicate what someone is open to.

The only way to know is to simply ASK them before acting. Example: “May I share a hug with you?” If the answer is “yes”, go for it. If the answer is “no”, kindly say “Thanks for being honest!”. Remember, it is quite hard for most people to say “no”. Appreciate them for it!
Every person is responsible for stating their own boundaries, and respecting others’. “No” means “no”. “Maybe” means “no”. Only “Yes” means “yes”.

DEAL BREAKERS

You are implicitly responsible for yourself and your actions. Any behavior that conflicts with the Oregon Tantra Festival Guidelines may result in removal from the venue without refund.

Safety & Consent

Oregon Tantra Festival creates environments that encourage people to come together, expand and grow, and experience bliss. Expansion and growth often require getting out of our comfort zones and take risks. We believe, if we are inviting our participants to take risks we must prioritize creating a safer space for everyone.

We do this through our three pillars of safer space: Presence, Choice, and Support.

Presence means that people are aware of their actions and the impact they have on others. This is why we encourage people to refrain from using any mind-altering substances.

We also encourage people to continuously reflect on their actions, thus creating more awareness and intentionality. When all people are really present, it allows people to explore their edge in a safe and constructive way.

Choice is the basis of consensual interactions. We believe that expanding your comfort zone and taking risks should be your choice and we provide reminders and education throughout our events.

Support happens in our small group Pod meetings, where you have a chance to share what is going on for you. You can also ask the Presenters or staff for a paid private session if you find deep issues arising for you.

SEE SOMETHING THAT NEEDS ATTENTION?

If you see or experience behavior that is inappropriate or out of line at our events, please tell the Staff. We like to catch consent breaks early and often so we can prevent further issues.

Suggestions for Loving Relating

These suggestions are written for in-person events, however, adapting to the current client of zoom-intimacy helps us to practice excellent love skills:

GET CURIOUS & CLEAR
Asking for a hug BEFORE hugging is awesome, even online. Saying “I like you and I’d like to get to know you” is hot.
Asking “What are you up for?” is even hotter.
Finding out what level of play the person is up for BEFORE engaging is awesome.

LISTEN FOR THE “OH YES”!
Yes means yes, everything else means no or time to clarify.
Not doing anything until you hear, see, and feel a “YES!” is how we do it.

THE ONLY CONSTANT IS CHANGE
Just because someone says yes once doesn’t mean they’ll say it again. Changing one’s mind in the middle is totally valid. Saying “Thank you for taking care of yourself” when they say “no” will blow them away.

AVOID REGRETS
Want to avoid regrets? Listen for the “no”, the “maybe”, the “I’m not sure inside yourself and with your partner. Some people have a hard time reading body language, use your words. If you want to stop, saying “stop” is often a good way… that’s a good time to stop and check-in.

OOOPS…I OVERSTEPPED A BOUNDARY
Sometimes it happens. Much of the time it’s by mistake. Whether it’s doing something to someone or having our boundaries crossed it never feels good. Following-up and clearing the air is the best.

THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS
Just because one thing can’t happen doesn’t mean something else is out. Hitting a bump is a call for creativity. “I’m not up for that, but I’d be into…” is skillful negotiating.

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY
Being truthful about your relationship status, your availability, and your sexual habits are the foundation of being a rockstar.

CHECK-IN AT THE END

Having a clear closing is key to keeping your loves feeling cared for and respected. Honor them to the end and thank them for sharing themselves with you.

Inclusivity, Thinking Beyond the Box

Oregon Tantra Festival culture welcomes many perspectives and views on gender, sexual orientation and sexual preferences, as well as relationship styles. We encourage you to become familiar with these topics to encourage sensitivity to those who are not choosing traditionally normative ways of expressing themselves, but are unfolding into creative self expression and self definitions.

Here are some resources we recommend you check out!

Breaking Through the Binary, by Sam Killermann, which includes a great graphic of The Genderbread Person-
“Gender is a tough subject to tackle. There are many facets to consider and many pressures at play, and we have all been conditioned in such a way that our first instinct is almost unanimously wrong. But we’re going to tackle it.”